


don't you want me?

by neonnleon



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Heartbreak, Homosexuality, Isolation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonnleon/pseuds/neonnleon
Summary: (based off of Mitski's song "Two Slow Dancers.").Jared is growing too close to Richard, and can't stay away from him. But, Richard finally snaps and orders Jared to "just fucking go away!" for awhile. This breaks Jared, and thus, he isolates himself in his condo, reflecting on every decision that led him to this point.
Relationships: Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	don't you want me?

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this will be a short fic because I've been trying to improve my writing skills!! (by writing more in one chapter, instead of splitting it up and ending up having a bazillion chapters HAHA-) buttttt!!!! I have it all planned out, and I really hope you all enjoy it! Happy Reading!

"Can't you just like- just fucking go _away_? I'm sorry Jared but you're just- you're always around me and I can't take it. Just.. please." 

Richard looked at Jared, who had tears in his eyes and immediately felt like complete and utter garbage. "Wait Jared, I'm-".

"It's okay Richard. I understand. I'm going to go away for a while- I think I.... need it. I'm sorry Richard. A-and please, don't try to contact me, okay?". Jared smiled politely as he walked out of Richard's office, holding tears back. He had to go somewhere else now, he needed to be away from Richard- he was like a leech to Richard, as Gilfoyle had said. 

* * *

Jared had driven to his condo in a rush, he wanted to get away from Richard as fast as possible, so there wasn't even a _second_ where he could think about his harsh words, shoved in the back of his mind. He threw himself face down onto his couch and felt tears silently fall down his face. _What did I do wrong? ,_ he thought to himself as he just cried into the pillow, every mental image of Richard coming to mind, every moment they had, every time Jared caught Richard staring at him for too long. All of it just crashed down on top of each other, and it all seemed to fall apart in Jared's mind. 

Eventually, his crying slowed down, and he decided to watch some movies and TV in order to clear his mind of sorts. Going through his movie collection, he surpassed a lot of romance movies that reminded him of Richard and he didn't want to hurt anymore, so he kept searching, and stopped on " _Pretty Woman"_ and it took him back to that odd, but funny chat he had with the boys and his Pretty Woman reference. He smiled to himself and was about to text Richard, but then it hit him once again. _just fucking go away._ He felt everything around him melt, and he was spinning, everything was breaking around him and he was going crazy. He slapped himself, and said, "Donald, no. You are strong, maybe I should just shower...". 

He sighed as he reluctantly threw himself into the shower, and tried to wash away his thoughts and just for once- not think about Richard. Jared let the water run down his body, and imagined himself at sea, or floating through the cloud, anything to feel some peace. He got lost in his thoughts, as he was floating through the clouds, faster, and faster, and suddenly, he crashed. He crashed into a Richard-shaped billboard, and he fell, down, down, down... until _BOOM!_ and then he was snapped out of it all, as everything he tried to do to distract his mind just slowly fell apart, and there was nothing he could do.

* * *

Richard wanted to contact Jared so, _so_ bad. He felt so shitty about what he had said, but he wasn't sure Jared would ever forgive him. 

"Those were some mean fucking words, Richard." Gilfoyle said, as he took a sip of his coffee, they were in for another late shift. 

"I-I fucking know, okay?! I just... I feel horrible but it was just- he was _so_ attached you know? He smothered me with affirmations and everything and I just... I don't know, Gilfoyle." Richard looked down at his shoes, defeated. He just honestly wanted answers, why did Jared do what he did?

"Why do you think he was attached Richard, honestly... are you that blind? That oblivious?" Gilfoyle raises his eyebrow and rolled his eyes, as Richard looked clueless.

"Jared fucking liked _you_ , man. Not in some "oh yeah, he's my bro" kind of way, like real fucking feelings. When you aren't around, he asks when you're coming back around and tries to talk about you nonstop. Dinesh had to straight up ask him if he liked you and he said, "I'm not sure, but I care about him a lot and I intend to care for him _forever!"_ ". Richard thought hard, and he thought about every memory they had together, and then it clicked.

"Oh my... FUCK! I need to talk to him, I need to... Jesus. Thank you Gilfoyle." Richard runs to grab his phone, hoping somehow, he can reach out to Jared, just maybe. 

* * *

Jared was just trying to sleep when his phone rang. He sighs and turns to see who was calling, " _Richard Hendricks",_ the phone read, and Jared felt himself explode- so much so he literally screamed "NO! NO NO NO!" and threw his phone down, as he screamed into his pillow. Why couldn't he just fucking escape Richard? Maybe in his dreams, he would be free, or so he thought. 

Jared usually doesn't have very vivid dreams, he just spoke German in the night, but tonight, he had a very detailed dream, that caused him to wake up crying. Jared had woken up in a completely white room, with some nice furniture, it seemed like a simplistic house. He sighed and stretched up, looking around at his surroundings. The room was pretty basic, there was a white dresser in front of the bed, and on it was a vase with two orange flowers, everything was real, but cartoonish looking at the same time. Jared turned to his nightstand, which had a bamboo cover journal, a black and white lamp, and a framed picture. He picked it up, so he could further inspect it, and he almost dropped it. It was him and... Richard? He put a hand over his mouth as Richard walked in, and was just dressed as casually as he always does. "Well, morning to you Jared! Everything okay?", Richard walked over and sat next to Jared, rubbing his back. "I know you weren't feeling very well last night, but is everything okay now?" he smiled so kindly to Jared, Jared felt himself get lost in Richard. Jared smiled back, "Yep. I'm okay, thank you for asking." Richard nodded his head in approval and lightly kissed Jared on the forehead. Jared could feel it somehow as if everything was real... like this was reality. But, it wasn't, and Jared knew this. He just wanted to stay so badly, because, in this world, Richard loved him back. Jared wouldn't let the dream continue any further, he couldn't, it just wasn't right in any way. He forced himself awake and stared at the ceiling with tears rolling down his face. "Why can't my reality be with him?". 

-

The next morning, Jared woke up, and luckily he didn't have a second dream, but he still felt an ache in his heart for a reality his brain made up to bully him for messing up what he had with Richard. "Maybe I should have answered his call..." Jared mumbles, as he drinks his coffee and stares down at his phone. His wallpaper was still the two of them, smiling together, looking happy. Jared tumbled around the thought of whether or not he should try to reach Richard, maybe he felt bad? He took a deep breath and dialed Richard's number. The ringing started, quiet, but heavy. The ringing continued and continued until it finally came to a stop. "Hey! Sorry, I couldn't get to the phone, I'm a bit busy right now. Leave a text or a message, thanks!" Jared stared down, the beep went off, indicating it was now recording, but Jared had nothing to say, what _could_ he say at this point? Richard probably wanted him out of his life, so it was pointless to try. He groaned and tapped the hang up symbol at the bottom of his screen, and decided he REALLY needed to find something to spend his time doing. 

* * *

Richard was upset Jared didn't answer his call last night, he had already thrown up 6 times from being anxious _alone._ Richard just hoped Jared was alright. "Have any of you seen Richard today?" Monica asked as she rubbed her head, looking towards Gilfoyle and Dinesh, who both had the same reaction. "We wouldn't know, he's been freaked out about Jared since yesterday, so he's been locked up in his office." Dinesh infers, pointing up to Richard's office. "He told me last night he was thinking of going to see Jared, because he didn't answer his call, so maybe you can talk some sense into him." Gilfoyle said, as Monica takes a deep sigh and heads up towards Richard's office. After he waves for her to come in, she sits in front of him and sees he looks like an absolute mess. "Jesus Richard! You look like a homeless drunk." Richard rolls his eyes, "Thank you Capitan Obvious." he looks impatient. "Okay.. well look. I know you said some very harsh things to our dear Jared yesterday, but you need to work. He will be fine, he will recover and come back stronger than ever." Monica does this often, only to reassure Richard because he can be an absolute _diva_ if things don't go his way. "How do you know that?! How do you know he's not out there crying his heart out or being mean to people?! How do we know that Jared is safe and okay and-" Monica cut him off abruptly, "Stop. Richard just STOP! You said harsh things to him, and he needs time, and apparently so do you. Look, I care about you both a lot, as an investor, and as a friend. But, you just can't keep your brain on this one incident forever. Oh, and _please_ do NOT go to his house. Understand?" Monica smiled, with a bit of pettiness in it as she got up and walked out, leaving Richard to once again ignore her advice and throw himself in a mental mind loop. This meant that he would basically be unavailable for 3-5 business days, leaving some of the workers frustrated and pissed. 

Richard just wishes he could understand why Jared cares about him so much. He tries to listen to Monica and get some work done, but his mind just flows back to Jared, as if everything is just Jared, always. Even though Richard knew that Jared was extremely clingy to him, he misses that now more than ever. The truth was, Jared knew Richard more than he knew himself, even when he just barely knew him, it was like Jared stalked him for years before he offered himself to Richard as an employee, and even then he knew Richard was going to be something great, or maybe he wanted to be something great with him. Richard felt himself drowning in his thoughts of every moment he's shared with Jared. Everything was always Jared this, oh make sure Jared gets on that, what about Jared? Everything circled back to him and now, now he was without him. Richard banged his head on his desk repeatedly and felt like screaming, but he too had to try to find a distraction. 

* * *

Jared had ended up going to the park and walking around since he had hoped that would clear his mind, but since Richard dressed so college-like and so casually, every other skinny white guy somehow looked like Richard. It was as if Richard was just inescapable. Jared had given up on getting Richard out of his mind, so he tried to contact him again. Still, though, there was no answer and Jared just felt lost. Did Richard _really_ hate him that much? He tried to remove every negative thought he had, maybe a nice surprise will come his way soon, he told himself, in hopes things would perk up a little bit. He had picked up some fresh fruit and vegetables, maybe eating clean again would help him feel fresh. Jared was quietly humming to himself, chopping up fruits and veggies so he could have a nice clean lunch when suddenly, a knock was heard at the door, soft, but for some reason extremely familiar. Jared raised his eyebrow as he walked towards the front door, curious as to why this knock rang so familiar in his mind. He opened the door and expected an old neighbor, or something that was familiar in a faraway sense, but instead, 

"R-Richard?".

"Hi, Jared." 


End file.
